HPs Product Of the Week - Personal Trading Cards
AFL (Aussie Rules Football - like Grid Iron but without all the pansy padding thanks very much [see how that sounded like I care about sport? I’m so good at fibbing!]) is a big deal here, at least in the colder states. Apart from the main competition there are dozens of local team competitions for most ages. Most kids either play or follow a team with obsessional zeal (or both). So I can kind of see how this would be a money maker. Yes, you too can appear on an Official AFL Trading Card. For a mere $25 (incl postage) you can be the proud owner of 18 cards with yourself on them. Removing the postage makes it $20 - Or around $1.12 per card (I said “around”, don’t bother pointing out that it’s 1.111 recurring, k?). Nice little earner, this one.
All you have to do is follow the guidelines for taking a photo (”When you are having your photo taking don’t just stand there. A good pose with a footy will make your card look much more exciting. Why not pretend to take a speccie or prepare to kick a huge drop-punt?” - I guess kids don’t have that much shame to begin with, huh? Yeah…), send the photo in with the order form all filled out (don’t forget to tell them if you’re a boy or a girl because the photo and name might not be a clue) and wait for your 18 cards to arrive (but not your photo. You can’t have that back. Nuh uh. Nope.)
I can kinda see how this would appeal to your basic hard core footyhead kid. Perhaps it’s my own lack of interest in the sport that makes me think “Oh hey! How pointless!” But all you really need to be on a trading card is an image editing programme, some photoquality paper and too much time on your hands. Observe:
That’s the first of many (and I swear to God the only time I’m posting my photo here, promise). I plan an entire range. I don’t know of what.
I’m tempted to risk the $25 and see if they’ll print me some official AFL cards if I send in a pic of me holding a footy. Of course, I don’t actually barrack for any teams so I may hav eto make it up a bit. Wonder if they’d print them if I put “Prefer Equestrian” in the Team box…
July 12th, 2004 at 3:36 am
HP, you could at least have held a football or something. Unless this was meant to be a more general ‘Umm, this is me’ card.
We have machines here that print out business cards, from a range of standard templates - you put in your name, job title and company, and out pop a batch of authentic-looking little cards, on proper thick paper. For some reason these are only ever found at motorway service stations, where they are incredibly popular. I have several sets which identify me as Dr Jigsaw Pig, occupying a variety of senior roles within fictitious organisations. One day I just know I am going to give one to someone by mistake.
July 12th, 2004 at 10:56 am
I don’t have a football. Sad but true. Don’t tell anyone, I’ll be deported.
I think you should hand out those cards and see if anyone notices.
The best business card I have is from Rob Cockerham of www.cockeyed.com. It says "This is the business card of Rob Cockerham. It is designed to allow you to contact me by phone on this number or at this e-mail address." Simple.
If you’re not careful JP I’ll make you #2 of this series…
July 12th, 2004 at 12:00 pm
She could do it, too, JP. She has the power (not to mention your picture).
July 12th, 2004 at 12:04 pm
Sorry, forgot to mention you look just lovely, HP. I love your new haircut and no poofiness to be seen. Very pretty (even without Shiny Spray, lol).
July 12th, 2004 at 12:41 pm
Muahahaha < --that's the power right there
And shush.