Yesterday was a moment I had, which needed venting. Maybe this wasn’t the place for it, but it’s no healthy to pretend I’m a cheery person all the time :P
Yeah, I am thinking a lot at the minute, but things are slowly working through. I think the phrase is “soul searching”. *shrug* Whatever :)
So yeah. I’m fine really, just trying to decide a few things and accept a few changes to my perceptions of myself. This is unfun, if you were wondering.
I couldn’t help it, I was really really missing having a scanner. Really. I was. Missing it. OK, so I did actually technically have a scanner, but it a) wasn’t a very good scanner and b) caused all kinds of horrible system trouble with it’s stinky little festering driver. To celebrate my new scanner (which takes 5 seconds to scan a photo, instead of the 3 minutes the old one took), here is a scan of a picture of an ant holding an intergrated circuit.
There’s something about that photo that I just really love, and as soon as I saw it I had to have it. It was in a book I was withdrawing at work, so I chopped it out. Yes, ladies and gents, library staff get to hack into library books… ok, just the withdrawn ones but anyway. The book itself was from 1993 and therefore no longer exactly accurate in it’s computer information. Adorable, but not accurate. Not quite as adorable as the one I bought written in 1979 when “A personal computer is a serious investment starting at around $7,000, but is well worth it”. Makes me look at my Apple IIe and wonder how much they paid for it new. I got it second hand for $4.
Mum and I were talking today about how much kids can actually remember (discussion brought on by an expensive and amazing 1st birthday party for a child I know of, costing his mum around $1,500) so I was trying to think of things I remember from before the age of 5. Here are some of them:
- My earliest memory is of sitting in my pusher and picking the skin off my index finger, causing a sudden rush of blood. Mum parked the pusher next to the chemist with the green tiles and ran in to get bandaids.
- I remember visiting the goat farm with the kinder group. The goat farm was just down the road from me, but I’d forgotten to tell mum I needed to wear gumboots, and instead was wearing my red leather shoes which I tried to keep clean.
- I remember going apple picking, again with the kinder group, and thinking Mum and Albe were leaving me behind when they drove off.
- I remember playing with toy cars with Albe in the front garden of Grandma’s big old house in Kew. We dug tunnels in the soft soil under the tree.
- I can remember the pile of sand that was delivered just before the pool went in, and how Kirsty, Albe and I made roads and tunnels in it. It was there for ages, then it was spread out as a pool base and I remember being sad, because it seemed more fun to keep it for the cars.
- I remember making pictures with little bits of plastic at kinder, and seeing all the pictures lined up along the rafters.
- i remember Mum being Santa in the kinder christmas play
Apparently, that’s quite a good writing excercise, just making lists like that. So there you go, i did do something productive today. Now I’m going to go and either read a book or redo the graphics for frog. Probably read.
Evening shifts on quiet days are things to be dreaded. I am currently on my “meal” break (pepperment chocolate frog, coffee, cigarettes. I am truly a modern woman) and am quietly despairing at the hours ahead of me. Since we are Very Quiet today, and it is Very Cold And Wet outside, I am hoping to log into Yahoo on desk and pass the hours that way. Hello to the CEO, should she read this.
I did have a product for this week, but my dog ate it. Next week, for sure and you’d better believe it won’t be dog food this time.
This morning I did something I thought I had already done, ie join SnapClub. This is the place for all those photos I take that have no use, although I guess I could call them Website Content. Perhaps I will, later. Something to do of an evening, maybe. Anyway. I’m off for a smoke (sorry Chessie :P)
Why not see Chessiegirl’s Product of the Week too? Well? Why Not?! hehe.
These days large lips are way in. Think Angelina Jolie. Think… Leslie Ash. haha. Anyway. The most common answer to thin lips is a big old needle full of collagen. Mmm, stingy. This will plump your lips for weeks, if not months (can you tell I don’t know much about it? No? Good, read on). Your lipstick bill will increase, of course, to cover the larger area, but life wasn’t meant to be easy.
Well, for those ladies who either fear the needle or fear a possible allergic reaction that will leave them looking like some kind of alarming fish, there is a solution. For a simple, one off payment of US$29.95 ($39.95 if you want a tub of “Theraputic Lip Cream”) you can order the Lip Pump.
How does it work? What does it DO? Well, it makes your lips bigger for around 4 hours. It does this with suction - “Luscious Lips uses a natural vacuum process to gently coax fluid into the lips, plumping the lips while increasing circulation in the lip and mouth area.”. Am I the only one thinking “Mild bruising”?
It’s quite easy to use. You simply place the thing over your mouth and “allow the device to gently coax the lips into the mouthpiece, hold for a few seconds, and release the vacuum.” This is held for around 4 seconds, with a maximum of 120 seconds (per day, I think). Otherwise I guess your lips would be so large you’d trip over on them and not be allowed to drive due to limited vision.
Checking the before and after photos shows you a range of disquietening lips. It seems the Lip Pump doesn’t actually do the whole lip - just the fleshiest part which results in rather square lip shapes. They do, I’m afraid, look like someone has punched them in the mouth.
If you care to follow the link to “Medical Endorsements” (note the plural) you will find a single endorsement from a plastic surgeon. Apparently the surgeon in question has used the Pump, however in her photo her lips don’t look boxy at all, so it may all be a ruse.
Personally, I find it quicker and easier (and not to mention cheaper) to just smack myself in the mouth everymorning with a plank of wood. The splinters can be painted over with a bit of lippy. Keen gardners may be able to get away with biting a bee (a wasp would work better though as they sting twice so you can use the same one for both lips). When all else fails, just apply lipstick half an inch beyond your natural lipline. Now that’s classy!
Firstly, by the special request of Jigsaw Pig who was simply gasping to see more of my lovely and wonderful frogs, here is the Beefeater Frog. This, JP, is the least attractive frog in my collection and he spends his days hiding behind other, cuter frogs. A sad fate. I bought him on whim in a discount tourist trash shop in London. I have a feeling I actually bought two, which means one was given as a gift to someone. Eeep.
Anyway. The major project of today was the assembly of the cheapo exercise bike I bought (again on whim) last night. Whim has a lot to answer for. I was basically feeling bloated and disgusting and have been toying with the idea of buying one of these bikes for months, but haven’t felt up to parental comments on the matter. Last night I rang Kmart on impulse, yes they sell bikes, yes they’re open till 9. So off I went.
This afternoon (this morning was mainly spent sleeping - I set my alarm for 9am on weekends, but always just turn the bloody thing off and go back to sleep) I moved the rocking chair out of my room. That’s a simple little sentance and gives yo uthe sense that I took the chair and moved it. However, on the chair at the time was a pile of stuff including: Giant Kermit, Large plush green tree frog, large plush generic frog with a rattle in it’s head (oh I don’t know either), photo album, daggy brown jumper I can’t part with, Nicer jumper that’s still alittle too small (cough), purple and blue striped shawl, white shawl, pair of jeans, bed socks (hooray! I found my bedsocks!), $6 in change, long tie dyed socks I can’t wear in public, long chunky wooly socks (also have been looking for those), the big woven thing which could either be a floor rug or a bedspread (can’t figure out which), pile of envelopes with windows in them (always bad news), pair of large white angel wings and a tray. Under the chair was a pile of books, two large picture frames and two large photos of Bowie from his show in Melbourne (oh yeah, I remember those). Most of this stuff has been relocated, but I’ve no idea what to do with the frogs.
Feeling very brave, I tipped all the bike stuff out of the box and unwrapped it all, layed it all out on the floor and began the process of assembly. It all came together fairly quickly, everything went in to place as it should and there weren’t any missing bits. I should have known this was too good to be true, and I was right. When the time came to slot the handlebar post bit into the base, the instructions told me to connect the “computer” cable and the tension cable. I looked at the post in my hand, yes - there was the plug for the computer bit and the end of that bit of tension cable. Good. Good. Looked into the bit that this post was to be mounted in. Ah. There’s the computer connection… and nothing else. I peered down the mounting bit with a torch. Coulnd’t see anything apart from the flywheel. I flicked through the instructions and found a note that said “The plastic casing around the base of the bike does not need to be removed at any point. tampering with the case may decrease safety”. I was about to make a joke of that.
It’s interesting to note that despite their assertion that the world would end if the case was removed, the tool supplied with the bike has a phillips head screwdriver as it’s handle and there’s nothing else on that bike that needs a screwdriver except the screws holding the case together. *HP nods, meaningfully*
I opened the case with scant regard for the safety of myself or others and peered into the murky depths. The tension strap runs down the “neck” of the handlebars, around the flywheel and out the front, where it’s locked in place with a clip. The trick was getting it around the flywheel as I only had access to the front of the wheel. I threaded it all around as best as I could, put the handlebars on and followed their directions for setting the tension (”Set tension knob to minimum, unlock strap and pull until tight. Relock”). All fine. Screwed the case back together, tightened all the nuts and bolts and hopped on to try it out. Yup, pedals work, everything is good. I adjust the tension for greater resistance and hear “WHACKwhomph!” and all resistance is gone.
Threading a tension strap around a flywheel is easier if you tape the end of the strap to the wheel, then turn it slowly, guiding the strap into place. Also, tape the other end to the outside of the mount because while you’re wishing you had three hands in order to hook up the most tenuous “computer” connection you’ve ever seen and the tension strap, you’ll probably drop the end down the hole and have to start over. Just.. trust me on this. LOL.
If you’ll excuse me, I have to run to Kmart and add a sticky note to the remaining boxes under where it says “Assembly tool included”. Mine will say “But you’ll need to bring your own sticky tape”.
I just adore my new frog! That’s him on the left (if you can’t tell). he’s a “fine art” frog, and has a Van Gogh print on his back because he is very very special indeed. I also got a little box for Dried Frog Pills, neatly combining my passion for frogs with my love of the Discworld.
I keep meaning to photograph the various frogs in my collection and post them on the site. Then I think “Meh, why?” then I think “Ah, why not?” and so it continues. Trust me, at some stage I will be bored enough (or have something else to do that I don’t want to do and will need a distraction) and the whole collection will go up. And then I’ll think “Meh, why?”.
The self issues machine that repeat readers will recall was a nightmare earlier this year has gone. Well it went a couple of weeks ago actually - a good two months after the end of the trial. THe old one, which I like to whisper sweet nothings to - was dragged out of it’s sulk and is now working wonderfully. I mention this because another branch also had a trial of a new self issues machine, but from a different company. However, this trial was a bit of a waste of time as three months later they still can’t get it to work. The obvious thing to do, then, would be to send another of those machines we can’t get to work to us at my branch. Presumably to see if it won’t work there either. It arrives Monday. Prepare for crankiness.
AFL (Aussie Rules Football - like Grid Iron but without all the pansy padding thanks very much [see how that sounded like I care about sport? I’m so good at fibbing!]) is a big deal here, at least in the colder states. Apart from the main competition there are dozens of local team competitions for most ages. Most kids either play or follow a team with obsessional zeal (or both). So I can kind of see how this would be a money maker. Yes, you too can appear on an Official AFL Trading Card. For a mere $25 (incl postage) you can be the proud owner of 18 cards with yourself on them. Removing the postage makes it $20 - Or around $1.12 per card (I said “around”, don’t bother pointing out that it’s 1.111 recurring, k?). Nice little earner, this one.
All you have to do is follow the guidelines for taking a photo (”When you are having your photo taking don’t just stand there. A good pose with a footy will make your card look much more exciting. Why not pretend to take a speccie or prepare to kick a huge drop-punt?” - I guess kids don’t have that much shame to begin with, huh? Yeah…), send the photo in with the order form all filled out (don’t forget to tell them if you’re a boy or a girl because the photo and name might not be a clue) and wait for your 18 cards to arrive (but not your photo. You can’t have that back. Nuh uh. Nope.)
I can kinda see how this would appeal to your basic hard core footyhead kid. Perhaps it’s my own lack of interest in the sport that makes me think “Oh hey! How pointless!” But all you really need to be on a trading card is an image editing programme, some photoquality paper and too much time on your hands. Observe:
That’s the first of many (and I swear to God the only time I’m posting my photo here, promise). I plan an entire range. I don’t know of what.
I’m tempted to risk the $25 and see if they’ll print me some official AFL cards if I send in a pic of me holding a footy. Of course, I don’t actually barrack for any teams so I may hav eto make it up a bit. Wonder if they’d print them if I put “Prefer Equestrian” in the Team box…
After wandering around for a few months looking like an ungroomed terrier, I finally decided that yes, it’s time for a haircut. Normally I’d just razor a bit off my fringe and make do, but I’m trying to be all new and improved and Do Things The Proper Way for a while, to see if I like it.
The place I get my hair cut at is a walk in off the street type place. You just wander in, they tell you someone can see you in 30 minutes, so you wander off and come back then. It is mostly men in the waiting area because what these places are really good at is the short back and sides (but if you asked nicely for a mullet, they could probably do that too). At the end of a standard session (which for me is saying “yes” a lot when the ask about length, layers and all that I was offered “shiny spray”. Could a lady out there please tell me what this is? I refused politely. *sigh* I never was one of those women who can cheerfully spend 5 hours having their hair done. Just cut it and get me the hell out.
In other news, I have managed to win the bidding on a slice of the 2003 Sacramento Yellow Pages. It’s a 2 inch slice, like thick cheque book. If anyone has any ideas as to what I can do with this, please leave your comments. Thanks :)
The wattles are out! OK, so it happens every year, but it’s still very lovely indeed to look over the hills and see dots of yellow here and there… and there. Actually, the hills at the end of my road where this is most well displayed are yet to produce any wattle. I have faith they will soon. If they do, I’ll post a photo of that too (gosh, so very nice of me). I had a nice walk down to get this photo (look! Bees!). It was one of those cool, brightly sunny days with hundreds of birds fighting over branch rights or feeding on the little insects in the grass. Some wonderful moments spent watching strike thrushes and wrens. Both these birds are of the tiny sizing, and wrens have the added interest of a harem. You can watch several grey brown birds dash about for ages before you see the bright blue of the male.
In non flora/fauna news - I finally dragged myself down to see the doctor again. I was all prepared for verbal fisticuffs. I was expecting, to be honest, to be prescribed the same treatment I was on last time (you know, my famous Bitch Troll From Hell stage). When I mentioned the name of the medication, the doctor scrunched her nose up and said “Yeah, that’s the most common treatment I think, but not what I’d prescribe”. I wanted to hug her to bits, especially when she replied to my request for a referral with a “Sure, we can do that”. Wow. Easy.
Look Chessiegirl! I remembered!
When I saw these I was breathless with admiration. What comforts a USB coffee warmer and built in cigarette lighter could bring!
The coffee warmer plugs into a USB port and sits on your desk, warming your coffee, tea or hot chocolate to an even 40 degrees C. This is kinda “warmish” in my opinion but considering how often I’ve taken a mouthful of coffee and found it to be stone cold this would be better than nothing. According to the site, you can just leave your drink sat there with no time limit but three weeks is probably pushing it from a health and safety point of view.
As Chessie knows, I am forever losing my lighter (yes, yes, I am planning to quit smoking. Rack off), but with a built in lighter in my spare CD bay I would never have this problem again. Actually, as fun as this idea is, I’m not sure I want one extra hot thing lurking in my case, but anyway. Judging also by the general unreliablity of car cigarette lighters, I’m wondering if this could be one more case of PC rage, when the lighter bit fails to pop out after 15 minutes.
Personally, I think this trend could be taken a lot further. Just for my own comfort a USB toaster would be handy, perhaps with a plug and play fridge to keep the butter cold. The toaster could be set to eject the toast when a Yahoo contact comes online, and if I could get a coffee machine hooked up somehow that could be set to make coffee whenever I tune in to Urge radio after 10pm. Of course, I’d need a dishwasher for the cups.
These are not technically useless products, but they are technically pointless. If people can keep their coffee warm and a lighter to hand at all times we are seriously going to lose the use of our legs (although it might make it a damn sight harder for my mother to pocket my lighter).
On a slightly related note, the power has gone out twice during this entry and I am still here. I love my UPS.
It has been a long, draining sort of a week. It’s felt longer than it has been, of course, and if I was working tomorrow I’d probably fall into a gibbering heap right about now but I’m not working tomorrow. I really, really, really need to sleep in (not to say i didn’t this week, Wednesday f’rinstance).
Does worry or concern make yo utired? I think it might, seems an awful lot of energy is expended on these emotions. Perhaps it’s because joy or laughter release feel good chemicals that the energy investment isn’t noted so much. Of course, panic is a whole other thing and yes, I had some real panic this week.
Anyway, it’s over and as much as I love Fridays anyway I am really adoring this one. I need a break.
“Be sure when you step,
Step with care and great tact,
And remember that life’s a
Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be
Dexterous and deft
and NEVER mix up your right foot
With your left”
-Dr Seuss.
When I read that a while back, I thought it was such perfect life advice that I rolled it around in my head all the time.
Then I forgot it. I’m sorry.
A while back I bought a new printer because my old printer was refusing to print in any colour other than blue. Or maybe it was yellow. Either way. It was a very wizz bang sort of a printer with great photoquality prints blah blah. First issue I had was the newness of the model meant there wasn’t a shonky ink refill available - HP shells out full price for brand name ink with gritted teeth. Still, says HP, at least I can be sure the prints will be of excellent quality. (It’s not a HP printer, by the way. I learned my lesson with my HP scanner… a whole other Hardware Nightmare story).
Print quality, no matter how I played with the settings, was never brilliant but since I don’t often print photos I wasn’t too fussed - even through the printer did a better job on plain paper than photo paper GRR. Today I found a pack of 4 x 6 photo paper I bought a while ago and hadn’t used. “OK,” I thought to myself, “Self, I’m going to print some photos! Yay! Gosh, how exciting” (Yes, my internal monologue is very 1930s British Movie, you have a problem with that?). A quick trawl of my hard drive came up with a photo of one of my bestest TSO Friends Buttercup. I set the image resolution for quality, cropped the image for pleasingness to the eye and changed all the other relevent settings for top quality photo printing. First print was a little grainy like all the prints have been. Hmm. Faffed some more settings, jiggled the image a little, printed it again and it was better. Not perfect, not as good as it should be, but better. Aha! I thought, AHA!
In order to gain maximum quality goodness and after close inspection of the prints, I ran a nozzle check to see if my nozzles were clogged with… gloop. They were! Aha! Had those cleaned. Also ran a print head alignment and GOSH but those print heads were all wonky, so I sorted that out and loaded a new, glossy bit of paper into the printer. I wandered off while it printed and came back to find….
the WORST quality print it has ever been my misfortune to see. It kind of looks like Buttercup… from a distance of around 400 feet. This is very annoying to me because I know it is possible to get great prints, just not from this piece of crap I own. I won’t name the brand, it was one I swore I’d never buy a couple of years back LMAO
I don’t mean to brag, but I am dynamite at contacting stuff. I don’t know what this stuff is called in other countries, I think it’s called “sticky backed plastic” in the UK, it’s that clear film you cover books and stuff with. Anyway, when I started working at the library my job included processing magazines and this included contacting the one off special edition mags so they’d last longer. With a batch of 50 to 100 of these, you get skilled fast. I can get a magazine covered without bubbles or wrinkles in the blink of an eye. It’s poetry to watch.
I mention this because I did some contacting today at home andit was a nightmare. I’m not sure if it’s the contact i bought (the local newsagency, when asked for clear contact, offered me white. I said “I need to read through it” they said “OK, well, this is white it’s the same”…) which is thin and comes in scrawny little one metre rolls (I’m used to the thick stuff from work, which comes in big fat rolls) or the fact that despite being crafty and having a crafty mother, there doesn’t seem to be a single craft knife in thehouse anymore soI had to use scissors, but it was a nasty time. I was shocked.
Also, a trip to the opshop today ended with me buying the shoes i was born to own. For someone who isn’t exactly girly or feminine I do have that shoe thing. Of course, no matter how many pairs I own, I only wear two on rotation but am trying to remember to wear boots more because i have a lot of boots. These are also boots, they are brand new and have buckles and things. I am very pleased with myself on this. Plus they were $8. Gotta love Opshops.
How many search bars do i need? i have three now, the google one I use and a couple of other “automatic installations” which are proving tricky to remove. I got the new yahoo messenger today, so that accounts for one of them. It’s a funky little IM programme, my avi is drop dead gorgeous, whoot. Lots of new buttons to press, they know how to keep me chirpy.
Yes, ladies and gents, I am besotted. Obessed. Gazing adoringly at my new beloved. OK, so it’s a website - but it’s more than that, it’s a concept I am embracing whole heartedly. BookCrossing is such a perfectly simple and elegant idea. It works thusly: You sign up and register a book. This gets you an ID number for that book which you write in the front cover, along with the URL and a little note about BookCrossing (or you can print off labels). then you go somewhere public and leave the book there. I “released a book into the wild” at work today by leaving it on top of the booksale. You list where you left it and when and, in the ideal situation, the person who finds it then logs on to the site, enters the number and reports it captured. The idea then goes on, when they have finsihed with your book, they leave it… and so on. Of course there are flaws. The book can be taken and disposed of, or the person who finds it may not be webminded, but isn’t it a lovely idea? i know mine has gone, but they’ve not reported it and maybe they won’t, it doesn’t matter. They say they want to turn the world into a library, and as you can imagine, I’m all for that :D
I like bugs. I think they are interesting, beautiful and amazing. I can watch them for hours at a time, captivated by their design. This is, apparently, not the right thing to do. The right thing to do, I’m told, is say “Ew! Bug!” and squish, spray or flick. Possibly all three. A person is not supposed to crawl along watching, or catch and release in order to prevent said bug being … well, sprayed or squished. Spiders I’m less fond of, although they do interest me. There’s something in the way they move that is a little icky for want of a better word. I catch them at work tho, otherwise they get the full force of the Encyclopedia Britannica reigned down upon them. Doesn’t seem fair.
That overly yellowed image is of the kind of ant I took outside today. Apparently they are supposed to be aggressive. Once, I was watching one at home and i leaned in to have a closer look. The little ant cowered like a scared dog. Poor thing.
Also, I like rain. Today was spectacular for rain. Ok, slightly annoying to have rain inside (right next to the 15 minute e-mail PCs, fabulous), but there’s something about looking out on a dark, stormy day… wow :)
First off, and this IS worth mentioning - GOOD hair day! Whoot.
Ok, change of plan ladies, gents and Other. I have decided, upon the advice of Jackie, Barb, Diane and Tracey, to not rent, but to save up a deposit and enter into the Great Australian Dream of a huge morgage. Yay. I’m trying to not let an online home loan calculator saying I can only borrow $15,000 put me off here. Yes, it does mean staying here for a while more, but I think I can save up a decent amount in a shortish amount of time. I am aiming to at least have an application in by November.
Oh well now, this was a matter of time. Now, instead of switching off the PC, console or TV to go for a walk or whatever, you can just get a Time Ryder and pretend you’re working out. All good. I’ve no idea if it works, but at least your friends and loved ones can point and laugh at your new chair. I wonder how hard it would be to cycle while steering a race car or Mario Brother of your choice.
Not from me even! Wow, I know you’re impressed. Went to the monthly BITS meeting this morning and seriously I have never seen so much anger over so little, every topic had people foaming at the mouth, ranting, screaming and generally behaving in a manner best reserved for politics, the state of the planet and affairs. I’m afraid it was very very funny, especially the dubious tangents (eg, talking about a new hardware system somehow ended up on casuals not being informed of system changes). At one point there was serious fury directed at me because my branch doesn’t use the cordless phone. I mean what a pointless thing to be bothered about.
Hair product is a new deal. When I was a smaller person - in height that is - there was spray, mousse and gel. Now there’s “Product”. Last time I got my hair cut the trendy young thing with the scissors asked me “Now, are you OK for product?”. “Um, yeah” i said because at that stage I didn’t use product. Now I do, in a non-trendy way. While I’m tempted to try the one that makes you look like you’ve just been out on the beach getting all salty and windswept, I am infact using one which calls itself “Anti-Frizz”. This is a perfumy smelling gloop that smooths hair down by simple fac that it’s very much like an oily scalp. In other words, it simulates dirty hair. For $7.99 I can pretend I never washed my hair ever. I’m a moron. :D
It’s always the way - I spent my day today from about 12:30pm till 8:30pm being incredibly tired and headachy and longing for sleep. Now it’s 11:23pm and I’m wide awake. Pfft!
Took the car in to the mechanic today as Dad discovered it wasn’t the water pump but rather the alternator that was causing the horrible noise. Now she’s running like a dream and all is good. She’s not even chugging when she idles - whoo hoo! Mum was horrified when she got in and shut the door at the cloud of dust that swirled in an artisic manner around her and is also not keen on the large and varied collection of cobwebs (after more than a year, the cobweb over the passenger door is now gone - it’s the end of an era).
Elise bear arrived home today to a small and refined celebration (I took her out of the envelope and put her on the PC. Celebration ends).